Holding on

I want to write about what I've been making, but the thing is, I can't seem to concentrate on any one thing long enough to do anything. I worked on my quilt a bit on Friday (the craft craving day) but since then have been bouncing from project to project.

My mom has been deteriorating over the last month. I was home with her two weekends ago. She was noticeably weaker and was having a lot of trouble with speaking again. Since I was there she has been getting worse and is now in hospital. I'll be honest. It doesn't look good. I'm having trouble thinking about the situation and at the same time I can't stop thinking about it.

My mom has always been so strong. She beat breast cancer. In the fall of 2007 she beat the tumors in her lungs and made it through chemo again. She came back from the brain tumors in December and made it through radiation. But this time it is looking like she's not winning. I can't deal with that.

There is nothing I can do but pray and be here for my siblings. I'll be going to visit her this coming weekend. We don't know how many more chances we'll have. I don't do well with the unknown. With waiting for the inevitable when there is no timeline. I can't think about what she is going through and what is still to come. I hope and pray with every fiber of my being that I'll look back on this post in a couple of months and laugh about my fear with my mom. But I fear that I won't get that chance.

So, once again, I'm asking, begging for your prayers.

While I was home Mom mentioned several times that she wished she had something to put at my Dad's grave for Easter. It's a little thing but today I decided to try to make a wreath to put on the stand we have out there. I bought a grapevine wreath and some artificial flowers and came up with this:


I was planning to fill the whole thing, I have more flowers, but I kind of like it the way it is.


I wound some ribbon around to see how it looks. I'm not sure. Thoughts?

It won't last indefinitely out there but I wanted to do something for Mom and for my Dad and... I just needed to do something. It's not enough, but this is how I cope. You understand.